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學(xué)習(xí)啦 > 學(xué)習(xí)英語(yǔ) > 英語(yǔ)閱讀 > 英語(yǔ)笑話(huà) > 關(guān)于長(zhǎng)的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)閱讀

關(guān)于長(zhǎng)的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)閱讀

時(shí)間: 韋彥867 分享

關(guān)于長(zhǎng)的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)閱讀

  生活中總會(huì)遇到些煩心的瑣事,不開(kāi)心的時(shí)候,就來(lái)看笑話(huà)吧,開(kāi)心一笑,煩心事就會(huì)溜走了。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編分享關(guān)于長(zhǎng)的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà),希望可以幫助大家!

  關(guān)于長(zhǎng)的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà):Court witness

  The prosecuting attorney had just called his first witness to the stand, an elderly woman. Approaching her, he asked, "Do you know me, Mrs. Jackson?"

  "I certainly do, Mr. Craine, since you were a small boy," she responded. "Actually, you've been a very big disappointment to me. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and are a hypocrite. You think you're some big shot, when in reality you're nothing more than a paper-pusher. You bet I know you."

  Stunned and not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jackson, do you know the defense attorney?"

  She replied, "Yes, I do. In fact, I used to babysit Mr. Nelson when he was a small boy. He, too, has been a great disappointment to me. He not only has a drinking problem, but he's lazy and a bigot. His law practice has a reputation of being one of the shoddiest in town. Yes, I sure do know him."

  The judge immediately silenced the uproar in the courtroom and asked bothcounselors to approach the bench.

  Giving them both the evil eye, he said in a whisper, "If either of you dare ask her if she knows me, you will be jailed for contempt!"

  關(guān)于長(zhǎng)的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà):Corruption Trial

  At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness.

  "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?"

  The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't hear the question.

  The prosecutor again blared, "Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?"

  The witness still did not respond.

  Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question."

  "Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you."

  關(guān)于長(zhǎng)的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà):Frog noise

  Two litte boys are talking to each other when the older boy, Little Tommy, gets up and walks over to his Grandpa and says, "Grandpa, please make a frog noise."

  The Grandpa says, "No."

  Little Tommy goes on, "Please .. please .. make a frog noise."

  The Grandpa says, "No, now go play."

  Little Tommy then says to his younger brother, Little Johnny, "Go tell Grandpa to make a frog noise."

  So Little Johnny goes to his Grandpa and says, "Please make a frog noise."

  The Grandpa says sternly, "I just told your brother NO and I'm telling you NO."

  Little Johnny says, "Please .. please .. Grandpa make a frog noise."

  The Grandpa curiously asks, "Why do you want me to make a frog noise?"

  Then, Little Johnny replied, "Because mommy said when you croak we can go to Disney World!"

  
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